Troubles our name
by witchzrule2
Summary: If you like Hufflepuff bashing, crazy Ravenclaws, annoying Gryffindor and sexy Slytherins. READ IT NOW! Expect: Ron bashing, OC's, personality changes to characters,over all randomness and crazy. There is a plot line it comes later. Kyle swears by it.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer:

Kim: I want my Luna!

Kyle: she's not yours!

Kim: Mine!

Kyle: J.K. Rowling's owns the rights to Luna and the rest of the harry potter universe.

Kim: So we don't own anything only the OC's and the insanity they commit.

Kyle: Have fun and yes there is a plot, it comes later otherwise it's a regular book five with some modifications and crazy.

Kim: CHICKEN!

Kyle: Shut up!

Both: enjoy.

Troubles our name

"Miss Kim! Come down". One middle aged house elf yelled.

"I need a minute." Kim hastily hid her laptop under the floor boards of her library, running down the corridor to her parent's wing of the mansion. She bursts into the drawing room.

"Your late" mother a stately woman said as she stared with cold emotionless eyes into Kim's soul.

'Fuck you'. Kim thought. "Mother, Father you called for me." 'Where the bloody hell are you Kyle!' Kim screamed in her head. Father nods.

"We will wait for your brother before beginning." Mother stated obviously annoyed.

'Go masturbate with a broom stick.' Kim thought silently. A male house elf escorts in a brown haired blue eyed young man.

"Mother, father, I apologize I was lost in a good novel."

"Sit down please, the both of you." The two kids sit next to one another; Kim punches Kyle in the shoulder.

"Kyle, Kim, Your being transferred to Hogwarts." Kim stares blankly at mother.

"No way in hell, will I go to that horrible country." Kyle says. Mother waves her hand causing all the windows and doors to slam shut, darkness closes in.

"You will go to that school and behave." Mother says with a menacing glare. Kyle starts groveling at the bitch's feet.

"You should have thought of that before you turned your tutor into a mouse." Kim leans back in her seat, more or less uncaring.

"That bastard deserved it! He flunked me and tried to make out with Kim!" Kyle yelled.

"She deserved it, the trollop!" Kim imagines her mother dropping dead at that moment.

"Father May I leave and return to my room?" Kyle asked.

"No." Father replied.

"Kiss ass." Kim said disguising it as a cough.

"Fine we'll go to the school, if you tell the headmaster to show us the respect we deserve." Kyle said with a hint of bite. Kim gets up and walks to the door.

"That young man will be joining us." Kim exits, Kyle smiles.

"Is that all, Mother? No, then have a nice night." He takes his leave.

A few moments later.

"Did you see the look on that bitches face?!" Kim laughs.

"The only other time I've seen that look is when grandma called her a two cent whore." They laugh for a few moments.

"Seeing that look on her face is worth going to England. Well it's time to pack."

"Hide the muggle stuff." Kim laughs at the reminder.


	2. Chapter 2

**A plane ride and a near ending train ride later.**

Kyle walks down the corridor and sees a bushy brown haired girl.

"Hermione! Hermione!" She turns confused upon seeing Kyle her eyes light up.

"Kyle oh my god it's so good to see you." They hug; Kim opens a door, looks in and informs them that it's empty. Kim sits with her 3Ds killing dream eaters.

"Put down your ds and come see your cousin."

Fuck you I'm almost at level sixty." Kyle slaps her up the side of the head.

"Don't use that language."

"F-U-C-K Y-O-U! I am doing something important oh! It's a cousin we like." Hermione hugs Kim. Brian a brown haired blue eyed muscular young man sits down opposite of Kim next to the window.

"Who's this?" Hermione inquires.

"The twit that we saved from a unicorn attack." Kyle said.

"That was a pointy horn." Brian replied.

"Shut up I'm going in for a kill." Kyle snatches the ds from Kim.

"Hey!"

"You're not getting this back until your sorted." Kim glares at Kyle. Hermione sits next to Kim. Kyle sits next to Brain.

"So…. Why are you attending Hogwarts?" Kim immediately explains Kyles tutor was turned into a mouse and that she fed it to a cat. Hermione laughs and Brian looks disgusted.

"Don't make that face Brian."

"Yes, dad." Brain said sarcastically, Kyle hit him.

"I want my Ds. Rikky is going to die if you don't hit pause." Kyle ignores her. A red haired girl bursts into the compartment.

"Let her go!" the girl demanded.

"My Ds a guy." Kim said. Kyle ignored his sister.

"Who are you?" strange child?" Ginny glares at Kyle. Hermione stands up and leaves with Ginny. Brian stares oddly at Kim.

"Your Ds is a guy?"

"We thought you preferred women."

"I wanted to disturb some hostile tensions. Now give me my Ds!"

"If you keep asking I'll shove it down Brains pants."

"Then I'll kill all your servants."

"You kill the servants I'll kill Brian." Kim glares.

"…Fine." She sits back. The rest of the train ride was uneventful. Kyle finally got fed up with pouty glaring Kim and gave her the 3Ds. She immediately starts plays, cussing out Kyle for turning it off without saving it. Then she crashes into someone.

"Oi!" Kim stares up at Harry. Kyle started calling him a filthy muggle and hits him with a cane.

"…Kyle… I believe that is Hermione's lap dog…" Kim said distracted, she is a few hits from killing maleficent.

"Wow she has very low standards even for her pets." Hermione swats Kyle and tells him to be nice.

"Why would I be nice to such filth?" Kyle sneered.

"Ky, play nicely… I want to have a blood free night." Kim says as she kills the boss. Kyle sais something nasty Hermione hits him and they all proceed to the carriages.


	3. Chapter 3

**With the three Gryffindor's. **

"Who were they?" Ron asks Hermione. She stares, disheartened at her feet.

"They are my cousins." The two boys stare at her.

"You're kidding." Hermione shakes her head.

"No they are my cousins … on my mom's side." Ron and harry exchange a glance and then ask questions about the dirty blonde with the Ds.

"…She's the stranger of the two."

"There were three." Harry says.

"The one wearing brown is Kim's friend that Kyle hasn't managed to kill yet." Hermione explained. Harry stares at her confused.

**Later with the oc's.**

"Are we being sorted with the first years." Kim asks.

"Oh please no." Kyle whined. McGonagall approaches and calls for the transfer students. Kim, Brian, Kyle, and a chicken step forward. McGonagall asks about the chicken.

"He said kingdom hearts sucks, this is his punishment." Kim says as McGonagall turns the chicken back into a very frightened, disturbed third year. He runs for his life.

"Next time I'm going to eat you!" Kyle shouts after him.

"Follow me... And you young lady give me your wand."

"I can keep my Ds?"

"….Yes..?"

"Okay!" Kim hands over her wand. They walk to her office.

"Right then, let's get you sorted…. Who's first?" Brian does a rock-paper-scissors motion. Kyle whacks him upside the head.

"….Kyle." Kim says as she pushes Kyle forward. McGonagall brings out the hat.

"Disgusting." Kyle sneered at the ratty old hat.

"Fuck you to kid." The hat spat back offended.

"Shut up, you stupid rag." Kyle responded.

"Boys… play nicely or I sick chicken on you."

"Sister dearest, you belong in a mental ward." Kyle says as McGonagall places the hat on his head.

"Where to place you so I never have to deal with you again." The hat said.

"If you put me in Gryffindor or Hufflepuff, I will burn you until only ash is left." The hat rolls his eyes and bellows "Slytherin."

"If you put my sister in-"McGonagall removes the hat for Kyles head. Kim pushes Brian forward. Brian looks unsure. Kyle says something mean. Kim glares in return. The hat yells Gryffindor.

"Me next." Kim sits on McGonagall's desk. The hat is gently placed on her head.

"Hi, I'm Kim, I love my video games."

"…. Random, crazy, and you enjoy puzzles… stop playing clue by yourself."

"NO!"

"Okay then…" "Ravenclaw." The hat bellowed and Kim hops off the stool.

"Yeah!"

"Off to the great hall, children." They proceed to the great hall and sat at their three respective tables.


	4. Chapter 4

**With Kyle.**

Kyle sits next to an odd blonde boy. His hair is odd. The boy starts saying something about a "potter." Kyle glances at him debating whether it's worth talking to him.

'Better to know what's going on.'

"Hey you, what're you talking about?" Kyle questions. The blonde boy and the two other guys turned to Kyle.

"If you don't know, then beat it." The blonde sneered.

"Who do you think you're talking to, you little reject? "Kyle glares, one of the other guys stand up.

"No one talks to Malfoy like that, you hear? This is his school."

"If he runs the school, why do Gryffindor's run amuck?"

"How dare you. Do you know who I am?"

"NO."

"Malfoy." The blonde said smugly.

"Never heard of you." Kyle replied causing the blonde to start flipping out. Kyle uncaringly yawns and turns to see what Dumbledore is talking about.

**Meanwhile (when Kyle was debating socializing)**

Brian sits next to Hermione.

"Hey Hermione." She looks at him weird.

"We meet on the train. I'm Brian."

"The unicorn incident?" Hermione asks uncertainly.

"Um, ok…" Two red heads start laughing.

"Who're those two Kim bumped into?"

"The dirty blonde with the Ds?" harry asks. Hermione nods and starts explaining to Brian who her friends are. Hermione gets half way through explaining when Dumbledore stands up.

**Back with Kim (when Brian is introducing himself)**

"Hi, I'm Kim. Who's the pink toad at the teachers table?" A girl turned to her.

"I'm Luna. Do you know what a nargle is?" They start talking for a few minutes. The Dumbledore stood up.

Everyone turns to listen. Kyle looks sleepy. Dumbledore starts to welcome every one back. About midway through his speech Umbridge interrupts with a speech of her own.

**After dinner the three Oc's, plus Luna and Hermione meet up in the charms classroom.**

"Kyle… Why is there soup on your face." Hermione asks.

"The toad board me." Kyle turns to everyone.

"What happened?"

"Government trying to take over the school." Hermione says.

"Great… We can rebel a lot!" Kim exclaims

"…We should meet up here tomorrow, to discuss this more thoroughly. I say this because… I AM TIRED!" Luna says. Kyle gives her a look thinking she's odd.

"I'm with Luna, we need to sleep. See you guys later." Hermione leaves.

"Same time tomorrow then bye. Don't kill anyone Kyle." Kim and Luna walkout of the room.

"Wait." Kyle walks behind the two girls and escorts them to the Ravenclaw tower.

**Later in the slytherin common room**

Kyle is sitting on a couch across from Draco. Crabb and Goyle are already sleeping. Kyle sips his coffee glaring at Draco. Draco is also glaring at Kyle.

"…Are you familiar with potter?"

"Of course, potters make pottery you idiot." A few girls that overheard burst out laughing at Draco and scurried off.

"…I'm speaking of the so called boy who lived."

"Through what?"

"…Are you even an English citizen?"

"I'd off myself before I become an English citizen."

"….Ah…American… That explains a few things…"

"Like?"

"Your accent it's hideous."

"At least I don't sound like a cat thrown into a blender."

"….Lets be allies. I think we can help each other."

"Fine, explain to me who this potter is and what he looks like."

"Black hair, green almost emerald eyes, average build, and the famous lightning bolt scar on his forehead, Also a Gryffindor."

"Oh, one of the baboons that follows my cousin around."

"Cousin?"

"Hermione-"

"The mudblood." Kyle glares.

"Her blood is as muddy as yours, so watch your tongue." Draco gaps.

"What?"

"She's been lying since she got here. She's as pure as pure can be." Draco is speechless, this new information intrigues him.

"Granger? ...Surly she could have used a more appealing name."

"She's a Baudin." Draco's mouth hits the floor.

"You can't be serious. I mean she's somewhat attractive but… a Baudin?"

"Of course I am, I'm a Desrochers." Draco stands and bows.

"Stand up." Draco straightens.

"It is an honor to meet a descendent of Arabella Voclain. I … have … you have a sister?"

"Yes but she's a Ravenclaw."

"So she's … intelligent."

"And quite strange."

"…I want to date your cousin … or sister…"

"My sister will kill you in your sleep and my cousin will humiliate you till your family name is rejected even by muggles."

"… So that's a no…"

"If you tell anyone about Hermione, I'll have you castrated." Draco nods.

"Good boy." Draco bows again and retreats to his room.


	5. Chapter 5 part 1

**The next day.**

"Is this my schedule?" Kim asks Luna similes at her.

"No dear…. That's a cleaning list." McGonagall says taking it back, and she hands the three transfer students their schedules.

"Care of magical creatures first, I'm going." McGonagall puts a hand on Kim's shoulder.

"Eat something first." Kim sits back down and turns to her brother.

"So what did you two gather last night?" Kim asks. Brian leans forward.

"Harry Potter is famous for surviving Voldemort. Oh Kyle, he remembers you well. Ron Weasley is a… sidekick. Both are best friends with your cousin."

"They are going to die." Kyle says.

"Shut up, what did you discover?"

"No one really knows who we are and no one knows what Hermione is. Except Malfoy, he'll keep quiet, trust me."

"…Right…well I learned not to eat anything on the main table in my common room. Apparently it is used for lab/potion experiments. That's what I got. Sorry I was exhausted. The damn experiment turned my right foot purple." Kim takes off her shoe and sock to shoe everyone. Kyle slaps himself for some reason. Muttering "Merlin…why do you hate me?" Luna holds onto Kim's foot.

"What a nice color."

"Put her foot down." Kyle growls and Kim quickly lowers her foot.

"So now for classes." Brian says.

Kyle: Potions, Transfigurations, Charms, Defense against the dark arts, Herbology, History,

Care of magical creatures, Ancient runes.

Brian: Potions, Transfigurations, Charms, Defense against the dark arts, Herbology, History,

Care of magical creatures, Ancient runes, Flying lessons.

Kim: Potions, Transfigurations, Charms, Defense against the dark arts, Herbology, History,

Care of magical creatures, Divinations.

"We have one class not all together." Kyle says. Kim shrugs.

"Off to care of magical creatures!" Kim said.

"See you lunny baby."

"Find you in wonderland latter, Kimmy." Luna bats her eyelashes. Kim laughs and walks off. Kyle and Brian run after her. Kyle hits her.

"What?"

"You know what. Don't announce things like that in public." Kyle says. Kim rolls her eyes and the three continue onto class.


	6. Chapter 5 part 2

**When they finally got there.**

"…..Kyle, are you paying attention to Grubbly-plank? Or reading about murder?" Kim hissed. They stood within hearing distance of the professor but far enough away, apparently far enough away for kyle to read.

"I could care less. I needed a filler class, and don't forget…I hate animals."

"Well we will most likely have homework wait… never mind you probably won't do it." Kim turned back to the lesson at hand.' I have to pass with an E. I want a new cape…' Kim thought. Brian was standing closer to the front, taking a few notes.

"Alright class! For homework I want two feet worth of parchment on the lecture. Class dismissed." The three exchange students walked to their respective common rooms to get their stuff for transfigurations.

**With Kim**

"Okay…wand, book… EEP!" Luna had her arms wrapped around Kim's waist.

"Hi to you too my little Alice." Kim sighed.

"I have to get going, transfigurations."

"Potions, I can say we were chasing gnomes."

"No. I need Perfect attendance. Or mother will be up my ass." Luna reluctantly released Kim and proceeded to walk her to class.

**With Kyle**

"Please allow me to date one of them." Draco asked Kyle. The damn slytherin fifth year refused to leave Kyle alone.

'And yippy for me, we have class together.' Kyle thought sarcastically.

"No'

"Why not, my family has good money, a clean reputation… why not?"

"Hermione will kill you. Kim is into Lovegood, she likes blondes just not men." Kyle answers. Draco stutters a little.

"You're pathetic."

"I know…Please give me a chance."

"….You act like a douche, you disappear." Draco shutters

"Good, you understand… come along."

**With Brian **

Brian was rampaging through his stuff trying desperately to find his book. The Weasley twins walk in as a glass figurine brakes.

"…Oi" Brian stands up.

"…What are –"Fred started.

"-you doing." George finished.

"…Looking for my transfiguration book." Brian says.

"That one over there?" Fred pointed. It was sitting on Brian's bureau.

"Yeah…that one." Brian stuffs it in his bag.

"Thanks."

"That happens a lot?"

"Yeah."  
"…Classes start in fifteen minutes… got time? We're going to prank that Kyle kid." George said. Brian makes a face.

"Trust me. You don't want to." Was all Brian said before darting off.

**The three of them meet outside the classroom.**

"Hi, I definitely have a girlfriend." Kim says happily.

"What did I tell you?" Kyle says. Brian mutters congratulations.

"What did you say?" Kim asked.

"Don't announce it!"

"Whatever." They all filed into the classroom. A grey and black cat sat atop the teacher's desk. Kyle walked over, grabbed the cat and sat at a desk.

"Oh, who's a pretty kitty?" Kyle scratched the cat behind the ears. The cat purred happily... until he pinched its face. Then the cat shook out of his grasp and did a backflip. Where the cat should have landed McGonagall stood in its place, a little red faced. The whole class burst out laughing. Kyle hit Kim but had to throw a few books in order to shut everyone else up.

"…Right then, today we…"and all through the class kids passed notes, mocking Kyle. Kyle, for the most part ignored this, in favor of plotting. Kyle passed a note to Kim. She rolled her eyes after reading it. Then she passed it to Brian. Kim switched seats with Brian. Brian stands up as two small shadows position themselves behind him.

"Mr. Magrath, did you have someth-"The two shadows darted out. One was a black, silky Siamese cat, the other white and fluffy. They hopped up on Brian's shoulders. He throws them up. The two cats did backflips turning into…

"Mr. and Miss Desrochers! That was…brilliant…and stupid; you could have broken your necks!" McGonagall stated.

"I'm used to hearing that." Brian said as the bell rang for the next class.

"Yeah! Time for divinations. I hate divination, but I get away from you!" Kim told Kyle

"Hold on a minute you twit, we need to wipe memories." Kyle draws his wand and waves it.

"Bye." Kim runs from the room. Brian and Kyle turn towards each other.

"You speak a word of this I mount your head in the wall with my house elves." Kyle said.

"I wasn't going to anyway." Brian pulled out his schedule.

"We have… ancient runes. Well my day just got runed." Kyle smacked Brian's head.

"OW! What was that for?!"

"For that stupid joke, the cornier they are the more my ears bleed." They started heading down the corridor to the classroom.

**When they finally arrived outside the classroom the boys were surprised to see…**

"Hermione!" she turned toward them.

"What're you doing here?" Hermione asked.

"Taking the class." Brian said shrugging.

"The buffoon is following me." Hermione glared at Kyle.

"Isn't he your friend? Don't talk like he's dirt!" Hermione all but screamed at Kyle.

"Quiet! He is not my friend. He's the guy my dear sister forced upon me." Kyle replied.

"I'm not fond of you either but-"

"Come in class. Sit down, shut up, and take out your textbook." Professor Babbling said. The class filed into the room. All over the room there were hieroglyphics and other symbols from ancient civilizations. Everyone took a seat facing a…board/wall, and followed the professor's earlier instructions.

"Okay turn to page fifteen, read chapter one and answer questions three to six. Then for homework …gets eight hours of sleep, you'll need it."

"I could do this in my sleep; I don't need the eight hours." Kyle whispered to Hermione. Professor Babbling turned a heated glare at Kyle.

"Mr. Desrochers, did you say something? "She asked with venom. Kyle glanced at her.

"No professor." The rest of the class was uneventful, aside from Brian asking a few questions. The boys walked out to find…

"Luna?" Brian asked. She smiles

"Yes?"

"You're in our class?"

"Yes. I like to sit in back, watching everyone else. It's entertaining sometimes. Where's Kimmy?" Luna directed the last sentence at Kyle.

"The ditz is in divinations, what's it to you loony?"

"She'll be mine by the end of the year. I've finally found a fellow 'Alice'. If you don't like it, tell her. She won't care." And Luna skips off to lunch.

"What a freak."

"She's not that bad."

"With my luck she'll be my sister-in-law." The boys walked down to lunch. Kyle sits next to Brian and Hermione, at the Gryffindor table.

"What is that bloke doing here?" Ron demands.

"Shut it weasel."

"Kyle, behave. These are my friends."

"Dear cousin, you have an offal taste in minions." Kim chose that moment to drag Luna over to the table.

"Hi, Hermione! Brian! Brother." Kim sits next to Harry and Luna sits next to Hermione. Kyle flips Kim off. She just starts eating. Two fat cats staked into the great hall, behind Kyle.

"Meooow!" One cat jumped on Kyle's head. While the other on brian's lap. Kyle starts yelling in French.

"Down Simba. Come meet friend." Kim commanded the cat got down and sat in Luna's lap.

"…Yes! Our stupid cat approves. Seriously honey neither one of my cats are either cheser or dinna."Kim says to Luna. Kyle yells at Kim in French. She says something back. Kyle yells louder. Kim gives him the finger. Luna hugs the cat on her lap. The cat licks her hair. Luna places the cat on Hermione's lap.

"So what're their names?" Luna asked.

"Simba and Riley." Kyle answered.

"What lovely names." All the students at the Gryffindor table simultaneously turned to a woman dressed in pink.

"Professor… froggie!" Kim exclaims.

"Professor Umbrella." Kyle 'corrected'.

"No…dears…my name is Umbridge"

"That's what I said, umbrella." Umbribge quirk an eyebrow at Kyle then she shakes her head.

"Anyway… I believe you two and your other Ravenclaw companion have forgotten which table you belong at." Kyle stands up.

"No mam, we have permission to be here." Kyle says. Kim after a moment, nods 'okay, start agreeing with Kyle!" Kim thought. Luna also nods.

"Just ask professor Flitwick." Luna stated. Umbridge turned towards the staff table, then back to Kyle.

"And I am over riding it."

"Pink…Pink…Pink Bitch!" kim says. Umbridge ignores her. 'This child is strange.'

"Professor Snape." Kyle called. He was there in a flash.

"What seems to be the issue?"

"I would be inclined to call this issue a woman, if we can even prove she is in fact a woman." Brian states. Snape raises an eyebrow.

"…Professor Umbridge doesn't understand a privilege we've been given. The privilege to sit here." Snape nods to Luna and turns to Umbridge.

"And what is so hard to understand about that?" Snape questions. Umbridge goes red in the face from anger and storms off.

"BYE FROGGIE!" Kim waves. The Weasley twins push Kim back to her seat. Sayings "No, No, shush."

Brian grabs his schedule.

"Let's see… potion." Brian told the group. Harry and Ron groaned.

"What… it can't be that bad." Kim looked to Luna for conformation. But Luna only shook her head.

"The potions master is… strict. And he favors only the slytherins."

"Hmm…I will try to change that …"Kim declared. Silently plotting with carrots. Luna just pats her head.

"Good luck." She then gets up.

"Got to go." Kim waves as Luna departs.

"Should we think about heading to class?" Brian asked.

"HI ho! Hi ho ,hi ho. It's off to class we go!" Kim sang on their way to class.

**They all sat down when they arrived at the potions classroom.**

"Where are the chickens? I was promised chickens!" Kim demands of her cauldron.

"No one promised you a chicken." Kyle glares at her.

"I didn't hear anything about a chicken." Brian said, like he was asking a question. Harry stares at Kim as she started cussing at the cauldron.

"Is she always like this?"

"No….she's weirder." Kyle told harry as the classroom door swung open.

"Exchange students raise your hands. "Snape stated as he strolled in. Kyle and Brian raised their hands. Kim raised her foot.

"Miss. put your foot down." She did.

"You must be the Desrochers girl. Little Miss I-turn-you-into-a-chicken."

"That's me. Need a chicken?" Kyle slapped Kim upside the head. Brian simply took interest into what was written on the board.

"Five points from Ravenclaw-"

"Five apples? When did we get apples? I want an apple!" Snape stares at Kim.

"I said points."

"Oh…never mind I don't like ponies." Snape face palms.

"…Just do your work."

"But I was promised a chicken."

"You were not promised a chicken. Now sit down you insolent little girl." Snape stared Kim down. Kim glares.

"Fine you are now my puppy!" Kim turned Snape into a golden retriever.

"Mine!"

"What's wrong with you?" Kyle turned Snape back.

"One hundred and fifty points from Ravenclaw!"

"That's a lot of apples." Snape stares at Kim. 'I won't be able to break her… she's too weird.' Kyle turns Snape into a Chihuahua, because Kyle was a natural legitimist.

"Don't insult my sister."

"Arf Arf!"

"Fuck you too!"

"Arf? Arf Arf!"

"I want a shark!" The Chihuahua and Kyle ignored Kim. Kim turned Snape back and finally began her potions assignment. Brian was almost done.

"Detention Mr. Desrochers…and strange chicken girl. You as well!" Snape pointed at Brian. He didn't look up from his work.

"…Puppy needs a nap." Kim conjured a dog house and told Snape to go beddy-bye. Brian holds out a vial to the teacher, notices something going on and decided to not draw attention to himself. He didn't want to be caught up in the Kyle/Kim/Snape trouble. Hermione tells Brian that Snape said he has detention.

"What did I do?"

"You were there, he was mad." Brian sighed and handed in his work. The bell rang and everyone filed out.

**The three weird kids (as Snape will now call them.) walked to defense against the dark arts.**

"We get to hit stuff?" Kim asked Hermione.

"No we cast spells."

"…Okay, I'll hit the teacher."

"Good girl. Right between the eyes." Kyle says. They all sit down. Kim, playing her Ds.

"Yes…Yes…Y-Fuck! Damit Vanitas! Be a good boy and die already!" Kyle and Brian were playing an iPod and iPad respectively. Umbridge walked in saw the three of them playing, and confiscated their stuff.

"Hey!"

"Bitch!"

"Give it back!" The three said in unison.

"You three have earned yourselves detention."

"Fuck you! Either I kill Vani or you! Which is it?!"

"You just earned yourselves three weeks detention."

"We don't give a rat's ass." Kyle says.

"Are you a head of house? Yeah, though not so." Brian Flips her off. Hermione pokes Kyle in the back.

"Quit while your behind." Kim summoned her Ds.

"Vani or you…Make. A. Fucking. Choice!" Kyle walks up and snatches his IPod back.

"Thank you very much, you dumbass toad." And he sat back down. Brian just cast accio.

"Well…are you going to get on with your lesson or what?" Kyle sneered. Umbridge looked around the room.

"Well…good morning class." The only one that responded was Kim yelling "Fuck! How many times do I have to kill you?"

"I said good morning class." A few scared kids responded. And Kim said 'weird…'Umbridge seemed satisfied.

"Wands away. You won't need them for my class."

"Fuck!"

"That's nice dear. Now these are your new school books." Kyle set his book on fire. Brian put his book threw a shredder in kids bag. Kim was too busy killing ansem to care what the ugly toad said. Umbridge started talking. The three exchange students paid her no mind until harry started talking and Umbridge started to fight with him.

"Detention Mr. Potter."

"Harry didn't do anything. Btw, I'm only listening cause I can't hear Ansem dyeing." Kim got up and stood in front of Umbridge.

"Sit down." Kim poked Umbridge.

"This is now Desrochers territory. Bug off of my pet." Kim spat in her face. Kyle got up.

"Have you ever heard of the freedom of speech from the American bill of rights, it was based off of the magna carter in this country learn the rights of the citizens, Bitch. Umbridge glares at them.

"Sit and do your assignment, First chapter done by tomorrow." Kim ended the fight epically! She slapped Umbridge.

"Go fuck the minister. That is if he's stupid enough to take you. Oh yeah, I know all about that…" Umbridge paled.

"Now go crawl into your swamp of an office." She scurries away but before she was but a few feet away Kyle shouts "Go blow the squid." He throws Kim's book at her head. Kim glares as Umbridge disappears.

"That's going to come back to bite us later." Brian points out.

"It was worth it." Kyle and Kim say in unison. Brian shrug's and continues playing on his IPad. Kyle busts out speakers and plays country music off his iPod. While Kim solves puzzles on professor Layton and the unwound future.


End file.
